More Near Tweets (aka Twitter Methadone)

Too strapped for time to actually write (I know, I know, there’s no such thing), I’m sharing some more of my near-tweets. Remember the idea? As I mentioned last month, rather than tweeting every whim & fancy, I have begun typing my thoughts into the notepad on my phone. Here’s the latest batch.

• “Burglar” is such an old fashioned word.
• I don’t have time for a movie, but I’m tempted to stop by the theatre for some popcorn.
• All dressing rooms should come equipped with wind machines to simulate traffic effects on outfits. #MuffinTopRevealed
• This stretch of Pico always reminds me of how you used to complain about the condition of the roads in L.A.. I miss you.
• Butternut squash soup with carrot apple juice. My whole lunch is ugly orange.
• New rule: restaurant employees should avoid wearing scented lotions and sprays.
• I’ve wised up — haven’t talked politics with my brother since 2004.
• I will no longer be wasting time folding my underwear. Life is too short.
• Do your cats perform spontaneously synchronized bathing like ours do?
• Sentences my grandpa wouldn’t understand: I’m blogging my tweets.
• Note to self: do not read The Economist’s story about rape around the world first thing in the morning.
• When I wear stretch crop pants, I feel like The Hulk in David Banner’s slacks.

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