Mary and Bob’s Journal

I only caught the last line of this conversation, but I think it must have started out something like this —

VFX Artist: Let’s go get some lunch.
Producer: It’s raining.
VFX Artist: So?
Producer: I like the rain, but not if it’s actively raining.

Only in Los Angeles, where flashes of lightening mean the Gods must be taking photographs of us and even the doggies melt when water inexplicably falls from the sky.

Thanks to my NaBloPoMo pals, I’ve come across a wonderful new favorite blog:
faboo mama. Thanks for permission to link, Faboo!

To my five readers (yes, we’re up to 5-including Mom, now): enjoy!
Off to work with me already. . . so bad!

I’m just back from WW (1.2 lb loss since before Thxgiving; brings my total to nearly 12 lbs. lost since September. Yay!), and I’m settling in to check email before work when I hear behind me that gentle sigh of the coffee maker. Not the repeated gurgles that say, Almost done brewing. But the soft airy sound that says, Still hot & ready for you. It’s a present left by Andy. He put my cup right next to the machine.

And it’s Friday. So thankful.

Driving home from WW my train of thought bounced from this great posting challenge idea I want to submit to 30 voices to Wineymomma’s new blog to her entry yesterday about finding joy even amidst our grief when people die. I had commented to her about my old buddy F-O. But today, even amidst my joyful memories of him, I felt the grief. I’m still mad that he didn’t make it. It still makes me cry.

But my coffee cup is filled with warmth. And I’m so blessed. And F-O would laugh at me for crying. Which makes me smile.

Can I say I love my dentist? Not in the freaky stalker way. Not in the Marsha Brady way. Not in the Addicted-to-Surgery way. Not even in the sarcastic way. No, none of those. I mean in the Holy F#$%! – I’m wearing my 2nd temp crown and the worst of my four fillings and two crowns is behind me – way!

This one was nearly a breeze. The way things have been going at work lately, I was actually happy to leave the world of Excel & pressure to lie back, breathe in the nitrous and open my mouth for the needle & drill.

Dr. Dentist asked me about my upcoming Hanukkah plans and just when the gas was cranking and the novocaine spike was puncturing my gum, the assistant began-and did not stop-performing The Entire Hanukkah song. (Which she later referred to as “Like Jingle Bells, only Jewish”.) Doctor and I just couldn’t get over the fact that she knew all of the words right up until the very end. As soon as I was free of the metal in my mouth, I said, laughing, “New rule: no singing when I have a needle in my jaw!”

Don’t tell my bosses I’m blogging at work! For what it’s worth, Thuy & Lap–in case you’re watching my screen via the cool gizmo that shows you what any work station in North America (or at least here in the building) is doing–I do have my self-purchased-rapidly-cooling-WW-frozen dinner positioned uncomfortably in the space between my ribs and the keyboard where my arms ought to be resting.

Now, as a person who’s working late, I know I could have gotten in on the PF Chang’s dinner order – compliments of big brother – but I prefer to stick with the WW sure thing – 4 points, baby. Besides, when I buy my own meal, it makes me feel less guilty for taking a little blog-break.

After dinner, it’s back to the grind. Staples to remove & pages to restaple. Emails to send, etc., etc.. Gotta get it done tonight because tomorrow afternoon, I’m leaving early for another Coronation. Makes me want to post one last thing for the day:

Goodnight!

My Pollyanna Moment of the day (and it’s coming in at a whopping 5:56am) is realizing that if I’ve got the post-vacation blues (and I do), it’s something to be thankful for because it means I must have had a wonderful time away.

There. I’ve logged another entry towards my “Let’s make November a whole month of giving thanks” endeavor. Check.

Unexpectedly, true-to-my-manic-train-of-thought-internal-monologue-habit (Oh, when will I get back to the yoga studio & learn to quiet down?) that leads me (Domino-Style) to realizing another item to be thankful for: being vertical and typing at 5:58am means that my wish for finding time to write was granted. Presto.

Later: so I spent 70 minutes writing, right up until the time when Andy got out of the shower, made the coffee (God Bless Him!) and sat in bed to watch our daily hour of a DVD before the dreaded moment when he has to leave for work and I have to get ready to do the same. Today the DVD is Pittsburgh starring Jeff Goldblum. Totally charming.

So I’m putting the little piece I started writing on hold until tomorrow. Double presto – another reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Picking up the sweaters from the cleaners tonight . . . throwing them into a suitcase & heading east to New Mexico. It always feels wrong refering to New Mexico as east. Particularly when the vibe there is so much more western than in Santa Monica. What are those rolling balls of dead hay you see blowing out onto isolated roads in the cartoons & cowboy movies? Totally New Mexico, not Los Angeles. Anyway, I’m heading east before dawn tomorrow. And did I mention, I love going to New Mexico. Santa Fe specifically.

I’ll be there tomorrow through Sunday & not so sure I’ll be able to get on line. And if I can, it won’t be like staying at Mum & Dad’s (where I’m free to be me). I’ll be with Andy’s parents (where I’m still on my Best–NOT-writing-for-hours-on-end-without-moving-more-than-my-fingers-”Honey, heat up my coffee?”–Behavior). It’ll be nice – I truly like Andy’s family (all of them) immensely. But I anticipate that breaking my posting streak might feel uncomfortable.

I think I’m about ready to have some withdrawal. Although, it’ll be a good time to catch up on my reading. There are those rectangular shaped things with hundreds of thin flaps with words written on both sides. Ahh, methodone. I’ll probably still get some hours of writing in as well. I just won’t be able to “fall in”. So it goes.

Okay – so right now, Lily’s under the table and is literally reaching her paw over gently to touch my big toe. Claws retracted, so there’s just fur pressing down. In LilySpeak, this means, “Brush me.” She usually just meows but today I’m getting the soft paw. She’s so sweet it aches. Time to go.

I’ve taken to doing my job-related errands (walks to the bank and post office) after dark these days. My motivation? 4th street in Santa Monica has giant balls lit in various glowing gem tones hanging from all of the trees. They aren’t just glowing gem tones, the colors change slowly – slower than a deliberate exhale and inhale combined – so that you have to watch to see it happen. And watching the trees isn’t normally what people do when walking or driving down the street. We look, but rarely watch.

The tree orbs have completely brightened (no pun intended) my point of view on having it be pitch dark at 5:02 pm. Tonight as I walked back from my jaunt, even though I was headed back to the office for another couple hours of work, I had a big grin on my face. I had to fight the urge to say to the woman walking next to me, “They’re so pretty.”

Some people sleep on 4th street – it’s their home. And if I were them, I’d be peeking up through my barrier of blankets to watch the orbs in the trees.

You know what else? Someone in the city has begun assembling an outdoor ice skating rink at 5th & Arizona. I’ll be able to skate on my lunch break, or perhaps after a random Tuesday night happy hour. Cheyene knows I HATE getting on iceskates. Particularly iceskates that are on ice. Slipping is not fun to me. But it’s good to embrace a lack of control now & again. So I’ll do it. And I’ll take pictures. Stay tuned.

There’s a place I don’t often want to run to but when I show up and contribute to what goes on there, they pay me! Go figure. Yes, it’s called work. And I suppose I’m grateful for it.

Sigh. Monday, monday.

You know what else I’m grateful for? Now I’m bragging: when I came home from work & women’s group & grocery shopping tonight, Andy said to me, “Be sure to put everything you need washed for Santa Fe into the hamper because I’m doing laundry tomorrow night.”

Which ultimately stresses me out because I think (and say), “But I don’t know what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow and there may be overlaps with what I want to take on the trip.”

To which he replies (and these words are magic . . . I must never – ever – take them for granted), “It’s okay, I’ll do a little laundry Wednesday night too if you need it.”

And I’m wildly attracted to him, too. It doesn’t get much better than that.

I woke up this morning completely comfortable: clean cozy bed & covers – under shelter – safe – dry – warm – but not too warm – plenty of light – but not too bright – oxygen – and there was even breakfast to eat.

What’s more, for the first time in many nights, I did not dream about excel spreadsheets. THANK GOD!
I slept through the night without any tossing & turning. THANK GOD!
I even had sweet dreams. THANK GOD!

This morning just before I woke up, I dreamt that magazine pages could play videos. Read the rest of this entry »

Today started out right in several ways.

1. I got to go to my WW weigh-in where it was confirmed that I’ve lost 10.4 lbs since September 21st. Yay!

2. I got to walk down the street to the sweet Mom & Pop shop for my $2 – 16oz. serving of delicious piping hot coffee to go.

3. Then I got to walk back up the street, back to the WW meeting for a really nice discussion on how we can all take better care of ourselves.

4. I got to walk over to Elle’s for more of that good coffee followed by a great 2 mile walk during which she filled me in on her adventures over the last couple of months. Her stories are so entertaining!

5. I got to go to work, where one of the producers said to me, “There’s something on your desk.” To which I replied:

The something on my desk was this:

It came with a sweet note of appreciation from a handful of our senior managers & boss-types. Turns out I’m doing a good job.
Sweet.

6. Now I get to walk to dinner with my true love. Sigh. Things are looking up.

Grumpy Puppy!

Today I said to one of my bosses (I’ll call him Boss #2 here), “I’m sorry for being grumpy.”
Boss #2 replied, “You’ve got room to be.”
Me: “I know, but grumpiness can be a habit and I don’t want it to be one of mine.”
It kind of made me feel better to perceive it that way unexpectedly.

As hectic as things are this week at work, I still had quality time with my staple remover today. (Freak!) I love making sure groups of docs are collated a certain way before adding additional docs & staples. I said it last week and I’ll say it again: I’m that compulsive. Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone.

red = objets d’gratitude du jour
And how cool is it that I figured out where to find the code for red text?

I skipped a day!

I’m currently feeling fatigued by my decision to post each and every day. And so I failed to post yesterday.

Excuses: there’s a whole lot going on at work (my brain is feeling the stress); plus, I thought keeping the child-soldier awareness piece on top for a day longer may not be a bad thing. But I want to keep my commitment to keep posting about gratitude – because pausing to be grateful “in public” this way feels important.

When I’m in my right mind, I’m always grateful for air & expanding lungs & oxygen in my blood, and for the blood itself and the heart to pump it to my limbs, the limbs that I’m so grateful for. It’s an endless loop and it does play in my head nearly every day and often times more than that. The more I remember the more peaceful I feel.

But to post each day – trying to find something post-worthy (whatever that is) is time consuming. So I’ll allow quickies like this. Goodnight.